Oct 28, 2010

High Five-Head

As you may have noticed, I have change my layout around quite a bit... hopefully it doesn't assault your eyes toooo much!
This blog is my 'creative outlet' - something I think is important for my overall wellbeing.
Lately however I have been dabbling in other 'outlets'..
One being photography.



So I am using a cheap little digital camera, set on auto mode, and just run around snapping at things with no real clue but my 'artistic eye'.. but it is still fun.
Often I look at other peoples photos, just to compare and take note, and look for flaws I should be avoiding..












(Here are some of the types of photos I have observed)

The Up-Shot.

This one annoys me the most. It makes me pity small children and really short people. There is nothing attractive about looking up someones nostrils.. and tilting your head back so we get a good view of your chin hairs is not going to do it either.
I guess what annoys me the most is that I too have to fight the urge of jutting my chin out (in a hope of losing some extra ones) everytime someone gets snap happy.. KEEP.THAT.CHIN.DOWN! seriously!










The Five-Head.

I stole this term off my BFF, it is used to describe someone with a big fore head.. (five being larger than four - har har). In this case it just means getting to see 60% fore head, 40% face. Think myspace angles and top shots. I am totally guilty of this, trying to leave off a few pounds with a 'flattering' downward angle... the thing is there is a line between flattering angle, and Neanderthal proportions... I have yet to find it :-/











The Photo-bomb.

While photobombing is a popular sport.. it is only funny if it is.. well.. funny! Nothing worse then taking a really great shot of your cutesie wootsie fluffy pal Poochie, then realizing there is some little kid picking his nose in the background. Now you will have to place a proportionally challenged Santa Claus over the top of that little snotter, for this years Christmas Cards, which will possibly distract from Poochies natural beauty! oh the shame!










The Tall-Man.

This is where the photographer thinks the sky is a lot more interesting then their subject, and only gets you from the neck up (not to mention a whole lotta space above).
Perhaps this would work if there was a firework display going on behind you, or someone hang-gliding naked... perhaps even an airplane towing "Will you marry me Sandra?"(especially if your name is Sandra). These would all be sufficient reason to aim that camera skywards, but if none of the above applies, you are hereby guilty of Tall-Man-itis!! (Or you really need to take off your stiletto's).








The Body-Catcher.

This is where the photo-takee manages to catch only shots of your body, and leave your head for the Tall-Man photographers of the world.
Body-Catchers manage to cut out half your face, all your face, half your body, everything but your shoes, your nephew Bradley and your Dad's really bad crew cut.
Body-Catchers are not reliable photographers unless you are one of those people who like to stick their faces on other peoples bodies (ala faceinhole).. in which case they are an endless source of bodies and body parts for your scrapbooking needs!







The Motion-Blur.

"And here is Kate with a monkey on her shoulder.. or.. wait.. is that Kate with her ventriloquist dummy?" either way it seems like Kate has been on a booze fueled bender all weekend with her photographer... and then gone for endless rides on the merry go round!
These fuzz filled photo's serve no purpose other than to imply that something awesome happened, some time, some where, with some people. This is only good if you are celebrity impersonators trying to take some candid shots for the tabloids. If so... carry on... just ignore me.
If not, pop a Ritalin, slow down, and let your camera do its thing!






The Tiny-Tim.

This is one of those shots where you pose next to an awesome billboard, or snuggle up next to a celebrity and yell at the person behind the camera "make sure you get everything in!"
Not only do they get in the important factors, the also include about half a million unimportant factors. The zoom is minimized as far as it can go, they are standing yards away, camera at arms length.. and last minute they decide to put another football field of space between you... just in case.
This photo is the love child of Where's Wally and a doctors office eye test - circling yourself in red marker can be helpful if you have a particularly bad memory like myself, though sometimes I tend to resemble a particularly nasty rain cloud.. so even that strategy has it's flaws.





The SMRAT-Shot.

Ignoring the fact I sometimes do this when driving in a real car, does anyone else ever play racing car games on Xbox or Playstation, and turn their entire body with the controllers when steering? This is what the SMRAT-Shot is a bit like. Those that start playing twister with the camera, or take a portrait photo holding the camera in a landscape position and vice versa. These directionally/spatially challenged people seem to suffer from many other Photography faux paus and should probably not operate heavy machinery.
While I must admit I am not the brightest crayon in the box, and sometimes forget to remove my finger from the lens or charge my battery before a big event, I have yet to stand on my head to take an upside down photo... have you?



So with Halloween, Guy-Fawkes and then Christmas around the corner, I can assume a lot of you will be getting snap-happy in the near future! Just make sure you are not guilty of UFPTBBTDBing! (thank that will catch on? yeah? ...nah)

x Sarah

Ps: Hope noone points out the fact that I am probably guilty of all the above sins!
Pps: Sarah Tarrant takes no responsibility for the awful spelling and grammar in this post, as this is her second attempt thanks to the internet disconnecting just as she pressed "post" the first time. YAY for 4am re-writes -_-

Oct 10, 2010

Trick or trick?

Hello again my loyal minions! *cough* I mean faithful friends!



With Halloween just around the corner, I have been putting some thought into my costume for our annual party.
Halloween is a really exciting event for myself and fellow friends, we love a chance to embrace the macabre and load on the scary makeup and accessories!
Unfortunately I still have no idea what to dress as, but I do have a lot of reject ideas!










Lady Gaga





Personally I am not a huge fan, but with all her crazy outfits and unusual style, she is definitely classed as a 'costume'.
Unfortunately her most controversial outfit is a bit out of my reach.
Being a vegetarian her "Meat dress" look is a little hard to pull off, as the only meat in my house is frozen fish fillets for the kids.
I can imagine this outfit would be a little on the uncomfortable side.. although if people get peckish we could always throw a few in the microwave?







Vampire


With Twilights international fame, the definition of 'Vampire' has changed quite a bit since Nosferatu's day. This does make dressing as a Vampire a heck of a lot easier as all I would need would be a big tub of body glitter.. but the possibility of death by 'Team Jacob' rivals, wearing their mothers fur coats and brandishing stakes, or Edward obsessed tweens with a Bella complex... is dangerously high. I think I will give this one a miss!







Michael Jackson



I was thinking a Zombie Micheal Jackson might be a cool idea ie; his Thriller video from earlier days..
But then I realized this could be misconstrued as a bit tongue in cheek, after the King of Pop's demise. I might give die hard fans a heart attack, or be attacked by a giant Pea Shooter or Cherry Bomb.. (please excuse my geeky Plants vs Zombies reference!)




Witch




This is always my go to costume, but I expect my friends would not be happy if I chose this outfit for Halloween. The only deviation from my everyday garb, is that I might don a hat and grab a hold of the kitchen broom. Not the most spectacular of efforts. I could however set a trap for a neighborhood cat and tie it to my broom?* the wounds I would no doubt receive for my efforts would surely get me points for trying? On second thoughts the only cat I have seen around lately is a rather large and fierce looking bobtail cat.. the odds stack highly in favor of the cat.. lets be honest I am a total wuss.





Ghost


Now this is an age old costume. Materials: 1 sheet, 1 pair of scissors = tada!.
Unfortunately the only sheets in the house are colorful gaudy things, either floral and inherited from my Nana's closet, Ugly unwanted hand-me-downs from various family members, or mismatched assorted colors.. none of them white.
I guess I could go as a ghost with a sunburn? Grandma Ghost? Invisible Ghost? Ghost that ate too much Halloween candy and now feels quite likely to vomit?
All these are viable options, but I am not sure how well I can drink with a sheet over my head. I would have to add a hole for a straw, no doubt about it.



Popular Youtube viral's


With options such as; Double Rainbow, Tay Zonday, David After the Dentist, Charlie the Unicorn, Very Angry Cat, Tourettes Guy or Chubby Cuppy Cake Boy (to mention but a few)
Unfortunately the only one I have any chance of really pulling off successfully is the last one. Lets just not go down that road.







So.. as you can see, my costume ideas have not really been all that successful just yet.
Feel free to help with better suggestions any time you like :P
Til next time,
x Sarah


* Please note I would never actually tie a cat to anything!... except maybe an escapee tiger, to something very very far away from me :D

Oct 7, 2010

Phobiaschmobia

So a few weeks back, I offered to paint my 3 year old son's face. His Dad (curse him!) suggested a clown, and so it was settled.





Of course admiring my artwork later whilst snapping photos - I reveled in how creepy clowns really are.. I can definitely understand why people have an aversion to them.











Coulrophobia
'A fear of Clowns'

When I looked up the word 'phobia', it was described as 'an unreasonable fear of something'.
While I get that Clowns are supposed to be funny and harmless, I can't help but think of IT and Pennywise the clown! In that respect I think Coulrophobia is perfectly reasonable, with their creepy manic laughs and over the top behaivour.. it is enough to send even the toughest nut running!









On that note, here are some Phobias I do find a tad on the 'unreasonable' side!

Althaiophobia


'A fear of Marshmallows'

What? Personally I don't eat Marshmallows because they are made from Gelatine, which in turn is made up from pretty pony legs. But that aside.. what did the big fluffy Marshmallow ever do to you? aside from being big and fluffy and squashing you with his sugary marshmallowy goodness until your brains come out your ears?
Don't be such a Marshmallowist!









Lachanophobia


'The fear of Vegetables'

I am pretty sure all my sisters past boyfriends have this phobia. Actually, most men in general. I know my son takes careful bribery and the comparison of the dull vegetables to more interesting things (peas = wheels, brocolli = trees etc) before they will begrudgingly be ingested.
But brussel sprouts aside, the only thing scary about vegetables, is your mother force feeding them to you!










 Melanophobia

'The fear of the colour Black'

Whatever this is, I have the opposite as my entire wardrobe is decked out in this colour.
I guess in some ways it is associated with death and dying, funerals and gothics etc. But think of all the awesome things that are this colour, liquorice, blackberries.. uh.. the road?
Okay so it isn't the most upbeat colour in the spectrum.. or even technically a colour.. but personally I find it soothing.. and we all know a little black dress is the most flattering item in a girls wardrobe!





Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia

'The fear of Long Words'

This is probably my favourite with it's ironic name. I can see where you would get stuck, Supercallafragalisticexpielladoshis is always a tongue tangler, and spelling it is near impossible (I am sure I spelt it wrong myself).. but big things need love too! poor littlebig word sitting all alone in the corner! can we all say Aww?










Cacophobia
'The fear of Ugly People'

There are a few celebrities I won't name who seem to have this phobia, and only associate themselves with people they consider to be good looking. What they don't realize is that their shallow, conceited behavior actually makes them appear pretty UGLY in my eyes.. HAH! JOKES ON YOU PAR.... er ANONYMOUS CELEBRITY!










Consecotaleophobia


A fear of Chopsticks.

Okay I will admit these buggers are hard to use, but that is all the fun of them! plus you can use them to do your hair, to mimic a walrus, to poke neighboring diners, as dinner time drumsticks, to duel any ready for combat opponents.. the list goes on.
Chopsticks are win! And don't forget the really catchy, hardly annoying at all.... much, theme song on the piano.. always a party pleaser :D










So you see? while some Phobia's are rather laughable, and others far more serious... ALL phobias are probably very real and REASONABLE for the sufferer!
So while I may laugh at my bestfriends psych out dance when a Moth flutters by, I should probably be a bit more understanding!

x
Sarah





(For those who think they are being unduly affected by a phobia and would like more help, check out http://www.phobias-help.com/