Conversadists.

Yes I know, I haven't posted in FOREVER.. You get to the point where you can't think of anything clever to say, or interesting to talk about.. and the more you think about it, the worse it gets.. it even gets to the point where you consider writing about how wrong it is that your Aunty was wearing Thursdays socks on a Wednesday!

Anyway.. I read an article about joke telling, and how there are the type who drag them out, or get them wrong, or simply make it out to be funnier than it is.. and while all these techniques kill a joke flat, there are far more abominal crimes...

 FOR EXAMPLE...



Answering rhetorical questions!

As clever as you may sound, the only thing that separates adults from children, is the ability to turn everything into an "I am right, you are wrong" lecture. Don't overthrow the hierarchy by outwitting them, it upsets the stability of the universe.. or... something.









Answering somebodies deep and meaningful question with more than a "Hmmm".

While your five page essay on the sounds trees make( regardless of who is there to hear them), is no doubt enthralling.. I prefer to stay ignorant if it means my audiences inability to comprehend or even answer my questions makes me look smarter than them. Go away bubble burster!









Turning a light convo, into something dark and gloomy!

 "I got a new kitten today!"
"I kill kittens".
*back away slowly*














But of all the conversational errs.. the worst might have to be the part where you say something witty.. and it flies right over the other persons head.
Murphy's law.. nothing is ever as funny the second time around, and no one is ever there to witness all the really good jokes :-(

When it rains, it pours!

It's about time I break the blog drought!
And what better way, then a blog about rain?



So.. while I feel like I have been immensely busy lately, I can't complain, because not long ago I was complaining about being bored out of my tree.
which brings me to my next topic.
Have you ever noticed, when it comes to your personal life, there are only two speeds? snail mode, or speed of light!













Dating.


For example, dating!
You could be woefully single, all your friends seem to be in relationships, you resort to re-reading last years valentines cards, and sing along to the Exponents in your bedroom whilst cuddling your favorite teddy bear... or you have so many boys to juggle, you could show the circus a thing or two!.. "I like this one guy, but his bestfriend likes me, and then there is that totally creepy guy who keeps putting baby birds in my letter box... where is the middle ground? the handsome hunk who has eyes for noone else, and scares off all other guys in a ten mile radius? yeah well, lets be honest, he probably sparkles.

















Work.


Either you are begging for work, SOMETHING to get you some extra pocket money.. you even consider hocking off your pokemon collection on trademe it gets that bad.. OR you are permanently screening calls from work asking you to cover yet ANOTHER shift.. sleep? who needs it? everyone has the bubonic plague, and didn't you know? you are the last person they can ask, which means it is ALL DOWN TO YOU! you might as well live there!






Social Events



So you feel like a social pariah, your calendar looks like a vast desert.. you can actually see the tumble weeds blowing past the weeks. You find yourself staring longingly at your friends facebook photos, pictures of them partying it up large while you are stuck at home.. why is everybody doing things on the nights you can't? why is everyone busy on your only saturday off? you wonder if they would notice if you didn't sign into facebook for an entire weekday?? it's time to get drastic!
Or you are avoiding your mothers calls because what with work, Sonja's party, Chris's 21st, Amy's baby shower, Dan & Danni's wedding, Cheap Tuesdays at the bar and Eric's flatwarming (that is rumoured to be an all weekender).. you barely have time to breath, eat or sleep let alone call her back to talk about good washing weather, and wether the family dog might have Alzheimers.

I am pretty sure everything in my life follows this simple rule.
"If it's not calm then it's chaos"
am I the only one???